*Trigger warning. Before you begin reading this post, please note that it contains content that some might find upsetting, such as themes of childhood sexual abuse and trauma. Please look after yourselves when reading.*
Hello!
Episode 17 of the How to eat alone podcast takes a darker turn into the world of secrets. We all have them and sometimes the weight of them makes us very lonely indeed.
Some secrets are joyful, and we delight in keeping them to ourselves. Other times, we want to share things that we’ve been through, but can’t because how can we relay how beautiful full moon that we saw once was? Or the exact flavours of our grandma’s cooking? It’s impossible to express these experiences. There are the secrets, of course, that we can’t share because they are someone else’s that we promised to keep.
And then, there are the secrets that we should share, but don’t out of shame or a lack of confidence. Maybe we were assaulted or abused or maybe we have a horrible illness and it would unburden us so much to share these difficult and troubling things, but we are not sure that this information will be received kindly or with support and so, we are afraid to open up.
My guest on this episode, Sophia Luu, a British Vietnamese designer, knows all about the damage that both keeping it all in AND letting it all out can do. She is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and now runs Secrets Worth Sharing which advocates for more conversations and discussions surrounding CSA and trauma. Her organisation runs a podcast of the same name and also hosts events like listening clubs, which are safe spaces to have open and frank conversations about childhood abuse.
I think that, prior to my conversation with Sophia, I hadn’t quite put together in my head that, not only is it important for us to share secrets so that we may lighten our own load and feel a little bit less lonely, but that it is also everyone’s responsibility to be able to receive secrets better to make people feel more confident to express them in the first place. Especially when it comes to darker, more taboo subjects, such as child sex abuse. Unlocking secrets, in short, is a community responsibility.
Just to note, Sophia and I have some pretty joyful chats in this episode about eating alone, in particular about making oxtail pho for yourself, soya-eggs-solo-chef hacks and how to pimp up instant packet ramen. You can find the recipes for the pho here and the noods here.
I’d like to thank Sophia for talking to me. Her work is incredibly impactful and she runs Secrets Worth Sharing by herself with no funding or salary, so if you can, please consider donating to her organisation! You can also keep in touch with SWS via Instagram and find out how else you can help or get involved via the website.
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